October 3, Sunday

Today was a reading day for me. I read for every class—articles and class notes. The day did not seem long because I was enjoying what I was reading. One of my teachers in high school always told me, “Monica, it is about understanding the material, not about the grade that you will earn.” I never appreciated his words until I came to college.

I am actually having a great time learning what I am learning in each class. More importantly, I have the extra flavor of Irish culture and history laid before me. I get to learn about Irish history, medieval women in Irish society and I also get the bonus of learning about sociological issues with the perspective of a different culture.

I literally stayed in my room for hours straight. Enjoyed several green apples, with a hint of peanut butter as I kept my eyes glued to the books.

It takes me a long time to read—I am just one of those readers.

At 5:45 Kara, Annie, Catherine, Cailin, Rose, and I met outside to walk over to mass.

There was actually music at mass today. A gospel choir came and sang for us. It was beautiful. I could feel the presence of God in my heart. I love the feeling of warmth, security and comfort, knowing that everything will be okay. Yes, I am far away, but God is with me. Mary, the blessed Mother of God, is with me, protecting me, and wrapping me in her womb.

I love going to mass. It serves as one of the times when I can escape the reality of the world. I can be with God, enclosed without the distractions of the world.

I came back to my room after mass. I enjoyed a sweet potato, almonds, and another apple. A pretty healthy dinner, I’ll say.

I edited and made final changes to my anthropology paper that is due tomorrow afternoon. I feel confident in my work. It is my first paper due in Ireland—sort of an exciting thought.

I went down to Megan’s room to hang out for a little while. I needed a break from the books.

Today was a productive day. Nothing too exciting, but in my mind and heart, I learned a lot just in this one day. I feel refreshed.

I want to look back years from now, as I am sitting on my rocking chair, and smile when I think about this Ireland journey. I want to be able to teach the people who are in my life now, and the people who will later be in my life, something special. I want to be able to express to them through words, the beauty of God’s creations. This life is precious, real, and I do not think people can fully grasp this importance. I want my experience to be an enlightenment for my life, and for the life of others. I want the badge of my identity to be encompassed in this journey. This journey is meant to teach me more about myself, about who God is calling me to be. I am traveling with open arms.

I was thinking about the whole Irish social scene here. Drinking is a big part of their culture. In high school and in my first year of college, drinking was never my “thing” I never did find any fun in it, and plus it is illegal. So, I guess that influenced my decision not to drink even more.

Here in Ireland it is legal. Yet, one’s motivation for drinking is still very important. I am not one of those girls who will go out and get trashed each night. That will never be me. I have though, enjoyed the social life, in letting “loose” a bit to really enjoy life. Maybe for once in my life, I just want a part of my childhood back-- childhood in the sense of that innocence and free spirit that many kids have. I have took this year to let go, and to appreciate like I said before. I will never let go of my morals, values and dreams. What I have learned to let go are the distractions back home that caused me to worry, the people in my life who may have caused some anger. Being free-spirited may mean using your imagination to explore new pathways, or it may mean smiling and laughing about every joke that comes your way. Furthermore, being free-spirited may just mean letting God work in your life even more, because you are not so fused in your visions and aspirations.

One thing that I have reflected on in these last two days is the beauty that is in this world. Ireland is beautiful. Many parts of the world are beautiful. Although I have encountered much beauty in my life—where God is clearly present, I still think one thing--- I will never see the kind of beauty that I dream about, or expect to someday see. In my lifetime, I will never be completely satisfied. I once thought that I would, but I know that I will never. Why? Because the beauty that I try to imagine, is a beauty that is unknown in this life. I sense something greater, but I will not see it now.

I leave this day with the inspired song, “You Raise Me Up” The gospel choir sang this song tonight at mass. It is God alone, who continues to raise me up, so that I can stand on mountains. It is God along who raises me up to see the presence of His face in the many people that I meet. It is God along who raise me up when I am feeling down. No one else will ever complete me.

October 4, Monday

I had my anthropology tutorial today. We were discussing the three articles that we were assigned to read before we met. We were discussing the differences of tradition in Ireland versus America. In Ireland, many younger people do not necessarily follow tradition of their ancestors and parents. For example, like going to mass every Sunday. Compared to America, we see many teenagers and young adults who do in fact go to church faithfully. Being the only American in the room, I was able to express my badge of identity to the group. I was able to bring a glimpse of my culture to the lives of my fellow classmates.

The grading scale here in Ireland is very different. I believe that the highest grade is a 70%.

Saint Mary’s girls have always had a reputation for being good writers. Lecturers are usually very impressed with our writing.

I also had my history class today. It is two hours long. I can barely understand the lecturer, due to his strong accent. All of the Saint Mary’s girls left after an hour.

Annie, Catherine, Cailin and I made a run to Aldi’s to buy food for the week. The only thing that I had in my room was a bag of oatmeal, jelly and honey. Buying food was a necessity.

For dinner, I made a pizza. It was a delicious pizza. It melted in my mouth. Who knew that store bought pizza would be so good?

I got an email from my friend Emily, from Saint Mary’s. She is coming to Ireland next semester. I cannot wait for her to come.

At 7:30, we had our class with Roberta. She did a follow up with us. I stayed after class and talked to her for a while. I am interested in helping out at her school. I love working with kids, and so this is a perfect opportunity.

We went to the Rugby house and then to club Mantra last night. We had a great time. Taylor came back to my room after we got back, which was around 2 in the morning, and we had ham wraps.

Today was a great day. I had a fun time with my friends, enjoyed the discussion in my tutorial and met many new great people. I love interacting with people. I always learn something new.

October 5, Tuesday

I missed my alarm. I must have not heard it. I missed my first two classes and a meeting. Whoops! I did however make it to the bank, the Christian club day and to my sociology and English class.

I also walked to the Student Union to get my Student Travel Card. Outside the student union was a bike show. It was really neat. This biker was doing amazing tricks. I stayed for a little bit to see what his talent was all about.

I worked the Young Christian Students booth this afternoon. Claire, the president of the club, and I sat down to talk for a while. We were encouraging people to join, as they walked by. I was introduced to the clubs Maynooth Outreach mission, and Saint Vincent De Paul. The Maynooth Outreach mission is right up my alley, as all of these clubs are. But this particular club fundraises throughout the year, and then in the summer, they go to third world countries to do missionary work. It is quite possible that I may be doing missionary work this summer. That is in the future though. Right now, I am focused on the present.

I love my sociology class. Plain and simple.

After sociology, Catherine, Annie , Cailin and I went back to Annie’s to have some snacks. We had grapes, apricots, cheese and crackers. A very interesting combination of foods.

We skipped our 5 o’clock English class. I have found that reading the notes and lectures online, is much more worth my time. That class takes real patience. I enjoy this class and very thankful for the knowledge that I am gaining about Medieval women in Irish society, but I have a very hard time following and understanding her. This will be a challenge this semester.

I came back and relaxed for a while, which was nice. I did a work out and rested.

At around 7, Bridgy was cooking dinner for all of us. She made a breakfast dinner. We had eggs, meat and pancakes. Like usual, we usually gather at Rose’s apartment and prepare dinner.

Last night, I had terrible stomach pains. To the point of tears. This painful experience reminded me of last year when I was sick.

I left after we all cleaned up. I headed on over to Megan Lynch’s apartment to plan our fall break trip. She found this nice cruise for a week. Meghan, Taylor, Megan and I talking about going—spending a week touring places like Greece, seems appealing to me.

One of my friends had a rough night last night, so I offered an invitation to go be with her. When I was with her last night, I felt a strong presence of God, alive in her room. She has been through a lot in the past year, but I never cease to be amazed by her strength. I know her potential and the inner passion of her heart. Although I will never be able to fully understand personal things that people go through, I know that I can offer my greatest love. Despite our suffering in life, God uses our weakness in order to make us stronger. He is that merciful! He is that beautiful! For all those out there who are struggling (as we all do), the only thing that will ever complete you is total faith in God. No one else can complete you! He can though!  He is stretching His arms out to you!

I just pray that her life is guided in purity, vision, ordained passions, and beautiful goals. God is molding her, even through her struggles, in a profound way. I smile.

I went to bed, feeling more complete than ever. Our whole group gets a long. I am starting to discover God in a whole new way. I am seeing the mighty grace of His power. I see my relationships with people here and back home transforming.

I had a really nice facebook conversation with my friend Kath last night. She is amazing. Her and I met this summer, and have become great friends. It is amazing how God can put people in your life, at the most unexpected timing. God is good like that!

Dear God, you keep amazing me! It is in your wonderful love that you continue to shed many blessings on my life. Because I have trusted fully in you, I feel how you have used me to your advantage. Everything is in your control. Thank you.

October 6, Wednesday

I woke up early. Could not miss my 9 a.m. philosophy class. No way!

After class, I came back and ate some rice. It is kind of a random food to be eating at 10 in the morning.

I had a medical appointment, for my learning disability.  The nurse was nice, and she got me in good hands. The grading system and education structure is relatively different here in Ireland. Each of my classes only have two grades—and essay and then the final.

After my appointment, Meghan and I met up before our anthropology class and picked out songs to sing together after class.

I love anthropology!!! Love it! Today we talked about the meaning of language and the language game. What really is language? The whole class, I was focused, engaged and amazed. I am so interested in what anthropology is about, that I feel called to many switch my major.

After class, Meghan and I had quite the adventure, on South Campus. We looked for a considerable amount of time for the pianos and practice rooms—in order to sing! We went into a lot of different rooms, and buildings. We just needed to find one piano! Because we are not music students, we did not have a key to get in to any of the rooms. Luckily, a gentleman told us to just lightly kick the door, in order to get in. Yess!!! Finally.

We had a great time singing together. Meghan did a number of solo’s. There is something magical about singing. For me, I am able to get away from the outside world.  I am able to enjoy the beauty of music and to use my voice. It is relaxing for me. On top of that, singing with one of my friend, adds that extra touch of glory.

Annie, Meghan and I enjoyed some popcorn and cereal in my room.

Tonight, we all went to Brady’s and then to Mantra. We had a great time. Evelien met up with us later in the night.

Off to bed. Very sleepy.

Cheers

October 7, Thursday

Today was a good day. I always remember, that despite how hard something is, strength is the most important.

I had anthropology and sociology today. Great classes, as usual.

After class, Meghan and I went to play the piano and sang. We then went back to her apartment and she made dinner—the best pasta ever, loaded with delicious cheeses.

I stayed in tonight. I skyped with the people who I love and miss dearly.

I experienced the peace and sincerity of God’s grace around me. The sunshine, allowed me to see the beauty of God’s vision. My interaction with people allowed me to see God, working through them. I am very grateful for this experience. I am living it up, while I have this time in Ireland.

I am blessed with such a great opportunity. Ireland is my home, away from home.

October 8, Friday

Today was a great day. I woke up, and got ready for my Philosophy class.

After class, Megan and I planned our Thanksgiving break. We are going to Belgium and Paris. I am extremely excited. This will be a good trip for the two of us to have. I first met Megan the first day that I moved into Saint Mary’s. We were neighbors.

Caroline, Meghan, Megan, Taylor and I, relaxed for a while. Later, we had a very nice dinner---pasta with flavorful cheeses, salad and bread. We topped off the classy dinner with some chocolate.

It was lovely enjoying a great dinner, with nice conversation. These girls and I lived together all last year, in Queens Court. Despite our differences, and what has happened in the past, we will always cherish the time that we have had together, here in Ireland.

After dinner, we talked for a while. I came back to chat with my best friends back home, and family.

They say that studying abroad is having the time of your life. That is very true. I have.

I have been happy here.

I NOW know what it is like to just, go with the flow, to glorify God in the moment and to just live it up! I have found that I have been able to now relate with my five star kids in many new ways. The feeling of being somewhat lost, in an unfamiliar world, but striving to find myself in a whole new light, is what many of my five star kids work through on a daily basis.

I said earlier that I may have needed this whole year for myself, but I may only need this semester. God has been molding me along this journey. He has been transparent in the many things. To experience a peace that I did not know before, has suddenly invited me to reflect on the spiritual dimension of my existence. To reflect within, has allowed me to be thankful for the breath that I breathe, for my voice that I am able to use, and for my eyes, to see the world in its most true form.

Last night, a dear friend spoke wonderful words to me, as I was pondering on the idea of coming home next semester or not. I appreciated her words.

With this experience, I have appreciated things back home that I may have not ever really appreciated before. Or, the people and things that I do in fact have in my life, have become ever more special with this journey.

This journey is about appreciating. It is about reflecting. It is about seeing where your heart truly radiates.

I have never appreciated my friends, more since being on this journey. The bond that I have formed with friends back home, and here in Ireland with me, has taught me the true importance of friendship.

I have real friends. My friends shape and help to mold my character. They encourage me to keep my vision alive. They pray for me. This journey away for some time, has allowed me to see the potential of their greatness and their gifts. I love them. I am thankful that I know them in this life. Their support is always humbling.

Of course, I have had mixed emotions on this trip. My life is becoming real. I am starting to get the importance of living in the moment. 

I think the biggest discovery that I have made about myself on this trip is simply—taking a breath, and letting God control my life.

As I have stated, I have found God in many ways here. I am becoming more independent. I am discovering things that were once unknown to me. I tell myself everyday that I will be okay, because God is with me. I have been challenged in the most profound ways--yet, these challenges have allowed me to learn so much more about myself and the world around me. For that, I am truly thankful.

I have enjoyed the time to myself--to just let go, and dance to the melody of the music. I feel good. I feel much more relaxed! I feel refreshed.

Going out of my comfort zone, has helped me to grow in many ways. I have only been here a few weeks, but I feel like I have lived here my whole life

 Some nights, I go to bed sad, feeling alone, because my best friends are not with me, my family is not with me, and my support is not with me. See, this is when I come to appreciate the things back home so much more.  

For me in my life, I rely heavily on God's divine intervention. Because I am going into social work and youth ministry, I have to be grounded at all times in my faith walk. And Yes, the challenges allow me to see God in His greatest form, but that familiarity of my prayer life and community of faith back home, cannot be found here. No matter how much I look at my university here in Ireland, nothing fills this emptiness that is in my heart.

I understand that my five star kids will be okay. Everything is being taken care of back home, but I only feel complete when I am doing stuff that I love--which is being with these kids.

I was not sure what expectations I had coming to Ireland. I had some expectation though, even though that I had no clue what! But in this life, nothing will ever be totally satisfying. Ireland is beautiful, and I see God's amazing beauty everywhere I go, BUT I think what I thought that I would get is more-- which can never happen in this life.

I am not like everyone else. I have this ordained calling to live out these ambitious goals. I feel like I am in a completely different chapter in my life, than most people my age. My dad seems to know me best. He knows my focus and my ordained calling.

I will continue this semester to cherish every, every and every single moment of my time here. I will come back truly inspired to share my experience in person with those that I love.

I just feel like God has something amazing planned for me--and my dad even said that. There is a reason for everything. I continue to trust. I continue to walk with the ability to live out God’s will for my life. Whenever I think that I want something, I have to re-direct my focus and discern. This experience in Ireland, has taught me that.

In the distance, I hear the sound of kids playing soccer. I hear whistles blowing, as a time out is called.

In the distance, I can see the face of God in the midst of the sun as it sets.

Through the sudden rainfall, I feel God cooling me.

Through folks talking, I see humanity in its most profound form.

God is so good. He has created a world of many differences. He has allowed me the opportunity to interact with people from across the world. The meaning of life, is being unfolded right before my eyes. Not everyone gets to see this in this life. I do! I have always said that the ability to love, and to just listen to a person’s story, is one of the most beautiful things that we can do. What we learn from our brothers and sisters, is this light of courage and wisdom. The understanding that we gain, is far more reachable than knowledge gained in a classroom.

I believe that I am being fully educated on this journey. My day to day experiences, have taught me more, than in the classroom.

Anyone can look back on the past, with regrets. I have come to focus on the moment, with the desire to live that moment to the fullest. Anyone can try to see the future, but it never seems to go as planned.

I am in love with this amazing God. If people only took the time, to stop, live and breathe, this world would have a totally different appreciation for life. It took an experience like Ireland, for me to actually understand this.

Next time, you see a man sitting on the bench, and you think that you are too busy, just stop. Enjoy the moment, and get to know that person. Maybe his story is far more inspiring than you could ever know.

Next time you hear the birds singing or see the sky changing, stop, look, and soak it all in.

These are the ultimate experiences of our lives. God is so alive!!!

October 9, 2010

Today, we toured around Maynooth. We went to a few Cemeteries’ and to a beautiful chapel. This day was good for me, because I love faith-based things. I feel a deeper peace.

The second chapel that we went to, was an emotional time for me. I said a prayer to Our Lady. A lot of thoughts and emotions surrounded me, and I quietly cried tears of joy and sadness with my current life. Meghan was right by my side, and comforted me throughout the day. That is what friends do—no matter what the past held, the present is the focus and the future is not of any worry.

Our tour guide was wonderful. He later took us to an all Boys college. This is a very challenging college for boys. It is like a boarding school. When I say college, I mean like middle school through high school. The education program is very different here in Ireland.

We got back around 4. I took a nap and then hung out in Caroline’s room for a while.

Tonight was an emotional night. I was emotional, as I was skyping with my dad. One of my friends, here in Ireland with me, needed someone to just listen and love her. The last few days have been challenging for her. I just pray that she finds a desire in her heart to find that perfect peace.

I came back from our awesome time together, and skyped with my cousin Katherine. My cousin is one of my best friends. Her and I have not talked since I have been in Ireland—weird to think about. We were able to catch up. Family is the one thing that I will always have. As long as I have my amazing God and my family, I will be okay, because their support is wonderful.

I think about the word “friendship.” What does friendship mean to most people?

I appreciate my friends so much more, since being here in Ireland. I am truly thankful for them. I cannot ever thank them for their support.

As I enjoyed the beautiful scenery today, and the noises of things and people as I walked outside, I saw God alive at work. As always, He is always present.

Whenever my emotions get the best of me, I just have to remember, that I was designed for a purpose. I have to remember that God has this amazing plan for my life. When I have my goals in line, and my ordained passions centered, I know that I will be okay. Part of this journey comes with emotions, as I am discovering new things about myself. I see myself in a whole new light—a light of upbringing strength. I never knew how much courage I had, until coming to Ireland. The courage to challenge myself in many new ways.

My greatest prayer for my friends, is that they always rely on the Lord’s call and plan for their life. I hope that they are able to always envision amazing dreams and gifts in this life.

As I lay down for bed, I do not go to bed worried about tomorrow is going to hold. Rather, I go to bed, with this happiness, that despite the challenges in my life, I am a strong woman of God, and no suffering will ever allow me to give up. I am strong, therefore I am.